Don't go to bed with unsolved issues between friends!
In my lifetime I have had to deal with 3 deaths, the death of my grandmother, the death of my best friend, and the death of my boyfriend.
My grandmother.
She was my mother's mother, died when I was about 12. I only saw her occasionally and we didn't have a very close relationship.
My best friend.
My best friend. Throughout the last few years of middle school (7th & 8th grade) my best friend Erin and I got into a huge fight at the end of 8th grade. Now being a 5th year senior in college, I understand that this was about 9 years ago for me. But you wouldn't believe how often I think about her. Of course when you're in middle school girls almost always fight about silly things such as; boys or long drawn out dramatic simulations of real troubles that adults have in life. We fought about a boy that we both liked, and we never talked again after that day. In high school, a year later, she wrote me a note apologizing for our stupid fight and hoping that we could be friends again. And out of bitterness and spite, I never wrote her back. We both started hanging out with different people, doing different things with our lives. That summer she went to Washington to visit her grandparents and she got into a car accident and cracked her head on the cement. She dies shortly after. I always think back and wonder if I were her friend at the time, would she still be in that situation? Would she be hanging out with those people? Would the accident even have happened? I think of her always and I know that she's up in heaven looking down on me and looking out for me. But I will always regret us not remaining friends, because through thick and thin, your friend should always be there for you and I wish I was there for her in her deepest hour of need. I miss you Erin!!
Love,
Denise
My boyfriend.
Years later I would encounter one of my larges hurdles; dealing with the death of someone I loved. I started dating Gilbert the summer after high school graduation. He was the nicest, most considerate, honest, caring, loving, gifted, talanted, motivated, inspirational, spiritual person that I ever knew. Just to know him for a short amount of time was so impactful to your life. It's hard to explain, but I felt like I knew him my entire life and the memories that I have of him, I will have forever. I can remember them as if they were yesterday. You know how some people make you a better person just by being around them? Well, he made everyone better just by being near him! He had such a glow and such an aura. Everything about him was real and true. He did what he believed in, and he didn't care if it was "cool" or "in". Yet everyone loved him just the way he was! Knowing him was a miracle.
Gilbert and I broke up because we went to colleges so far away. I went to Chico State and he went to UC San Diego. If you don't know those colleges are about 10-12 hours driving distance away from each other. We would call each other and e-mail each other. We would send each other post cards. But he was right, and I think he knew some how, that it was the time for us to break up. Very soon after, Gilbert was just starting school, and he went out to the cliffs ,that over look the ocean and the beach. He was merely taking a break from doing homework, and he slipped over the cliffs and hit the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
It has been the hardest thing in my life for me to bear. After that happened, I took a plunge downward. I started doing worse in school, partying a lot, I've still never been back to church... And I know that these are all things that he wouldn't want. I know that if he were looking down right now, he would probably try to help. I just couldn't understand for the longest time, why? I always understood that God took His children when He needed them, or when it was their time. But I understand now. Gilbert always wanted to be as close to God as possible, he wanted to serve Him the best he could. And that's exactally what he's doing up in heaven. I know exactally what he's doing at this very minute...... he' s singing. : )
Good Night